There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
