i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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