He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize