Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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