my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
