id be glad to
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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