I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
