I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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