Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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