love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
