i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
