bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
