Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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