I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
