I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
