Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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