plz talk dirty to me
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
