Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
