Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
