and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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