I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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