Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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