you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
