She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
