A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
