We're facebook friends in real life
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
soo... how was my night?
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