you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.