You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.