He disabled his match.com account in front of me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.