go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
