Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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