He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
