I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
