Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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