Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
