Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize