i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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