Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Come share oat with me in your robe
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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