I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
