I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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