Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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