whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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