well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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