get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
what day is it and did you see me today?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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