the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize