there's paper in my vomit.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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