If i come over, it means nothing
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
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And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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