Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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