let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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