everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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