grandma shit on top of the toilet
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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