WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize