Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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