i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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