So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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