yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
