Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
