Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
