I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
