I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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