I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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