in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
