No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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