Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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