i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need to calm my uterus...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
