DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
