They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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