I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
