take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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