Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
