so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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