when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
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I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Vodka?
Forever.
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Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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