is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
