guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
