I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
