Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions