I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
