my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it's great music for shaving your balls
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him