Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"