The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
